Are You Buffering Through Life?
The first time I heard someone talk about buffering in life I was utterly confused.
Generally, the term buffering is used for some type of video – the dreaded your video is buffering…
So how could this be something I was doing in my own life?
When I learned what buffering was it was clear I was majorly buffering. I just didn’t know the name for it.
I am willing to bet that most people in the world are giving their time to buffering and it may be exactly what is holding them back.
What is Buffering?
Buffering is the action of doing something that is pleasurable in the short term but has a net negative consequence.
A net negative is when you do that action it will cause you some type of pain or suffering later.
The consequence will outweigh the pleasure you had in the short term.
Eating the ice cream or watching Netflix can both be forms of buffering.
Eating ice cream may give you temporary happiness but you may not feel good after and if you have health goals it could impact those negatively.
If, you intended to wash the dishes but sat down to watch Netflix and then are later stressed about the dishes you have created a net negative consequence.
There are just two to of the many ways people could be buffering.
You Can Still Do Things You Like
Every time you eat ice cream or watch Netflix isn’t necessarily buffering.
Life isn’t supposed to be absent of pleasure.
But your pleasure shouldn’t create negative consequences in your life. When something causes you more strife than pleasure than you know that it is time to take a closer look at them.
There may be things that you do completely remove from your life because in the end it doesn’t have a positive side effect for you and causes you more harm than good. That decision is your alone to decide.
Schedule It
Netflix was a major buffer for me. I didn’t remove it completely from my life.
I just became clear that when I want to avoid doing something, I will plop myself on the couch and indulge in Netflix shows. Awareness is always your first step to changing something.
Instead of watching on impulse I schedule out the time I will spend on Netflix.
In the beginning this meant that I only watched one show right before I fell asleep.
This held me to a time constraint. I knew I wouldn’t pick Netflix over sleep.
When that felt comfortable and not restrictive for me, I could move that time around in my day.
Watching a show in the afternoon wouldn’t turn into me ignoring the rest of my calendar and bingeing an entire season.
I give myself the opportunity to enjoy Netflix without letting it negatively impact me.
Knowing that I will get to enjoy it keeps me from feeling like I’m missing it or obsessing over it. Netflix has its place on my calendar and I can focus solely on it at that time.
Instead of feeling like I am missing out I can enjoy it that much more when I am doing it.
Try this with a buffer that you have.
How to Know if you are buffering
One of the biggest questions that comes up for many people when they first start learning about buffering is how do I know if I am doing it?
There isn’t a list of activities that you can pull from that will tell you that you are buffering.
Buffering isn’t about the action but about the impact and feelings that it creates.
To know if you are buffering with something ask yourself these questions –
Why am I wanting to do this right now?
Did I put a time constraint or limitation around this?
If I did and I am changing that time constraint, why?
Is there something else that I planned on doing right now? Why am I not doing it?
How will I feel when I am doing this thing?
How will I feel after I have done it?
Will this negatively impact a goal that I have?
Am I being honest and true with myself?
A big indicator of buffering is an impulse. The impulse to do something right now to get away from something you perceive as negative or uncomfortable.
Your brain is searching for that pleasure. It is wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain because it doesn’t understand that some discomfort is necessary and won’t kill you.
The discomfort of letting the urge to eat ice cream exist is more impactful in the long run than acting on the impulse and creating that net negative result.
Be Kind
Be kind to yourself as you begin looking at your buffers.
It doesn’t make you a bad person. It doesn’t make you broken. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
It means you are a human.
If, you eat the ice cream even knowing that you are buffering it means that you have the opportunity to work on similar situations in the future. Being aware that you are doing this is more than most of the population will do.
How to Stop Buffering
You don’t have to be at the mercy of buffering. You have the power to control how you react to situations.
The steps to take to stop buffering are:
Be Aware – identify when you buffer and what you buffer with even if it is after the fact.
Ask Why – Be curious as to why you are buffering. What are you trying to avoid?
Get Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable – Discomfort isn’t the sign that something has gone wrong. Sit with the discomfort and process it instead of running away from it.
Address What You Are Avoiding – The dishes aren’t going to magically disappear no matter how hard you try to will them away. Find what you need to take action.
Schedule Your Pleasure – Pleasure should absolutely be part of your life. It should be in a way that enhances your life not hinders it.
Impact of Buffering
Buffering will derail your goals if you let it. Each time you buffer you are putting yourself further away from your goal.
You are also training your brain to react to emotions instead of processing them. There is a big difference between the two.
Resource – I talk about this in the FREE course – Empowered Confident Women
When you stop buffering you build integrity with yourself, increase the time available to you, and achieve your goals faster.
Final Note –
Buffering could be the exact thing that is keeping you stagnant in your life.
Things that we enjoy in the moment have the potential to have a negative effect in your life. Consider why you are doing it and what the consequences after will be.