When things get tough it is so enticing to just throw your hands in the air and say screw it all.
Most of the advice you may have gotten around this topic is to just get through it, take a break, and be lenient on yourself. None of that actually takes care of you and helps you get through the moment.
I have practical tips to help you get through a hard time.
Evaluate Your To-do List
We use the time we give ourselves.
Often it can seem like there is no more time to give. When something hits our life and it feels tough a schedule can feel overwhelming. You may feel like you are being pulled in a million directions.
To combat this, take a look at your to-do list and what is making it on your schedule.
Instead of using what you “should” and “have to” as an evaluation for what you are going to fill your time with you need to look at what you want to do.
What you want to do is much different than most people think.
Laundry, cooking, paying the bills – can all be things you want to do instead of what you should or have to do. You may want to do laundry because you want clean clothes or right now maybe you want to drop your laundry off to be cleaned and folded for you. You want to cook to have food or you may want to get your meals delivered. You want to pay your bills because you want to avoid the consequences that come when you don’t.
It’s okay to say no to some things. It’s okay to decide that in this season that you will replace your meals with things that are quick. Sandwiches for dinner is still eating dinner.
Decide what you want to put your energy towards.
Feel ALL of the Emotions
Most of our lives we have been taught that when something doesn’t feel good it needs to be fixed.
Avoiding and resisting what you may consider negative emotions is what makes them grow larger. Instead of trying to cover up the feeling of sadness or anger this is the time to lean into them.
Processing emotions will allow you to feel them without having a detrimental effect. To process an emotion, you need to first be aware that it is there and acknowledge it. Really see where and how you are feeling it in your body. Then invite it and allow it to be present without pushing it away. Let the emotion run its course and it will pass.
I teach this concept inside of my free course on overcoming anxiety and ending self-doubt. Which, you can find here.
Decide Who You Want to Be
You are not at the mercy of the circumstances around you. Who you are in this moment is not dictated by what other people think or what things are happening around you.
You get to decide.
Decide who you want to show up as in this time. There is no manual for life that dictates you must act this way if something hard happens in your life. Regardless if people tell you that during a breakup you have to be strong or maybe you’ve been told you have to be sad.
Neither of those are true. You get to decide who you show up as.
Take One Step Forward
It’s okay if you can’t see the other side of the hard time right now. You don’t need to know what life looks like after this or how you are going to get there.
Don’t wait until you do know what it all looks like and how to get there.
The only thing you need to do is take one step at a time. What can you do in this moment to move even a little bit forward. That is all you need in this moment.
After you take that step the next one will become clearer.
Believe in Yourself
You can get yourself through this hard time.
You have the strength and capability to make it through this time. Nothing and no one outside of you is needed to get you through. Having support and help is great and can be embraced but if you don’t have that don’t discount what you are capable of.
These are the moments that you grow the most. When you are challenged and giving up or giving in would be easy. What you will gain in this moment is more trust in yourself and knowing you can do hard things.
Final Notes –
Drop the notion that there is a right or wrong way to get through this time. Hard times won’t look the same for everyone. Nothing has gone wrong and this is part of the experience of life. Not every moment will be beautiful and fulfilling. That doesn’t make this moment any less valuable.
The times we grow the most are the ones where we are challenged. Choose how you want to show up and who you want to be.
