Mondays are that one day of the week that causes dread like no other.
The anticipation of returning to where you work for another day full of stress, anxiety, or resentment. All there is unhappiness there.
At one point or another most people have not liked a job they were in. Job dissatisfaction is rampant.
I have been in that spot – the feeling of misery and just feeling stuck. It can feel like a black hole you can’t climb out of.
Being unhappy at your job affects the rest of your life. The dread of returning is always a dark cloud looming.
But, you don’t have to be unhappy at your job.
You don’t have to be miserable day in, day out.
You don’t have to be stressed to the max.
You don’t have to have anxiety about your job.
You don’t have to dislike the people in your office.
You don’t have to rely on your boss to make you happy.
You don’t have to wait for the right job to come to you.
Here’s the secret – it’s not the job.
I promise that it is not your jobs fault that you are unhappy.
I know you are so sure right now that this is the case. Stick around a little longer and we can work through the real reason you are unhappy and how to change it.
What is HAPPY
Being happy is not something that is created by someone or something else.
This is because happy is an emotion.
Emotions are not created outside of us but rather inside of us. The way they are created is by the thoughts that we have about something.
Anything that happens around you is not making you feel that way. The thoughts you have about it are.
This should be the best news you have heard all week.
Seriously, you now no longer have to rely on other people or things to create happiness inside of you.
How life changing is that?
This is the case with your job and you may still be skeptical so we can dive a bit deeper into your job because it still isn’t the problem.
Your Job is Not the Problem
Your job does not make you happy or unhappy. It does not have the capability to do that. The thoughts that you think about your job are of your own creation.
Things that do not cause you to be unhappy at work
- Your boss
- Your coworkers
- Your assignments or tasks
- Your office
- Your hours
- Your work location
It would be so much easier to place the blame on one or all of those things for being miserable at work.
I am 100% positive that none of those things are the issue.
Remember where happiness comes from – your thoughts about something.
If, those things above were the issue then no one in the situation you are in would be happy. But, that is not the case.
There is someone at your job that loves it. They look forward to coming in everyday and love the work they are doing.
That would not be possible if the cause of unhappiness was one of the things on the above list.
The only difference between that person and you is what they think. It is that simple.
I still see that skepticism in you, don’t worry it’s just your brain resisting that it is responsible for this.
Now that you know that your job is not the issue how do you fix that?
(Finding a new job isn’t the answer 😉)
Before I give you the steps to creating happiness at your current job I want to share with you a concept that really helped me turn around my emotions about a job I despised.
You Don’t Have to do Anything
You truly do not have to do anything. No one can force you to do something.
There are certainly consequences for doing or not doing certain things but that doesn’t mean you have to do it.
The real truth is that you want to. There is a reason despite the misery that you show up to work every day.
It may be simply that you want the money to pay your bills. Remember that you don’t have to pay those. No one can make you pay them. But it is something you want to do because you don’t want the negative consequences of not doing that.
Another reason to want to go to work is because you don’t want a gap in your career history. When it is tough to believe you want to be doing that this thought can be helpful.
Some employers may question gaps in history and rather than them focusing on that you want them to see your talent.
Once I started looking at my job as something I want to do because I didn’t want the negative consequences of not doing it I was really able to start shifting my emotions about it.
Shifting to being happy in your job does not mean you have to stay in it. I hear quite often from people that they don’t want to try to be happy with their job because they want to be able to leave. They think they will be stuck if they are happy.
This could not be further from actuality. We can take a look at why that is when you move into how to actually be happy at your job.
I came up with steps to use to shift from being miserable at work to being happy.
Steps to being Happy at Work
1. Be Aware
The first step is figuring out how you feel about work. Spend some time and write down all the feelings that you have about it.
The list will be as long or as short as it needs to be.
Once you have your list start looking at it and just ask why you are feeling those things.
Your brain will more than likely default to blaming someone at work or the situation at work.
Be on to it and know that is not the case but rather the thought you are having about it.
Take a look at your mind and just wonder why you think that way.
This is to be aware of where your emotions are coming from. At this point you are not trying to change anything yet.
2. Own Your Emotions
This needs to be its own step because that tricky brain of yours will still try to tell you that something outside of you is causing those emotions.
Your brain is convinced that your life is happening to you.
Take responsibility and control and know that nothing anyone else does or says can change how you feel unless you give them that capability.
You are in charge of you.
Come back to this step as many times as you need to until you are really in a place where you understand that your feelings are your own doing.
3. Evaluate the Situation
Remember why you are at your job. It is because you want to be there.
Not all of it is terrible. You are getting something from it causing you to choose to come back.
Be clear on why that is and know that this is a choice you are making. Your boss or the company cannot make you do anything.
You have created the results that you have right now.
Find the pieces that have kept you there. Dig through the bad to find the good or what makes you want to show up even though things are terrible.
4. Commit
You are not going to love your job over night. If, we could shift our thoughts to loving things immediately everyhting would be rainbows and unicorns.
That just isn’t the reality. It will take time and work.
There is no magic wand or trick to instantly love your job that you have deep seeded hatred thoughts about.
Committing to the process and the work will be the most important part. You cannot do this part time.
It will be continuous effort to be aware of what your mind is doing.
To make it seem less overwhelming set a period of time you are going to really commit to changing how you feel about your job.
Find a timeframe that isn’t scary to you. For some people this may be three weeks or six months. Whatever, doesn’t make you feel instantly discouraged when you look at it.
5. Transition Thoughts
By now you have become aware of your emotions and really take ownership for them and know why you are showing up to work (because you want to) every day.
That’s all great but how do you actually create the happiness.
Happy is the emotion, which would be created by a thought, so we need to find thoughts that make that happen.
Each person will have different thoughts that work for them.
I don’t recommend trying to jump to loving your work. You may not even be able to say that you like it.
If, this is the case for you then find some thoughts that are in a neutral zone but don’t bring up negative emotions.
It can simply be I have a job that makes me money.
Keep it simple in the beginning and something that you will actually believe.
6. Decide from Abundance
At the end of your committment time make a decision. Do you still want to leave your job for something else not becuase you hate it but for another reason?
You may find the answer is yes or you may realize that the job is what you want you were just letting your thoughts run around unsupervised.
Make your decision from a place where you are happy. Leave when you are happy and you can be sure that you made a good decision.
Caveats to creating Happiness
There are situations where you should not force yourself to stay in a job.
Some of those situations would be if you are in physical danger or your health is being severly impacted and your physician advises against it.
I am never recommending that you put yourself in harms way. Always be clear on whether you are making excuses to avoid being in connection with your emotions or if there is a real issue happening.
Final Thoughts
Jobs can be a pain point in people’s lives. But, they do not have to be the cause of negative emotions for you.
The way that you think of your job will vastly change your approach to it.
It may not be the dream job it may fund your dreams or give you the means to take care of your family.
Those are pretty great things.
Always remember that your thoughts are creating how you feel. You can create happiness in your job by creating thoughts that make you feel happy.
