Life is full of endless options. Each moment you are faced with a choice.
That choice is sometimes as small as deciding what to have for lunch or as big as making a career change. The range of our choices can be quite large.
As you go through life decision making will shape your course. A quick decision or slow decision has a major impact. Wait too long to decide to go ask that guy out on a date and someone else will already have done it. Don’t pull the trigger to put an offer on the house you saw three days ago and it will already be under contract.
The space between the situation presenting itself and your choice on how to act can be filled with uncertainty. How can you know that you are doing the right thing?
What makes a decision the right decision? How can you possibly know that what you choose will have you doing the right thing?
What is the difference between right and wrong?
The difference between right or wrong is subjective. Each person is going to have a different view on what is right and what is wrong.
This is true even to the most extreme scenarios. There are murderers who don’t believe that taking a life isn’t wrong. The murderer truly believes that it was the right thing to do. I bet if I asked you or most of the population you would say it is very wrong.
In order to know if you are doing the right thing you need to understand what right and wrong means to you.
Right, wrong. Good, bad. Helpful, hurtful. Evil, pure.
All are just labels.
Labels are what we use to describe things in our lives. They help us make sense of the world. But they are not all useful.
Even labels that appear to be positive or factual can be unhelpful.
Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
I bet you had an answer right away. Those are labels. I have seen those labels keep people from amazing things in life because they used them and believed them.
I know extroverts that fear being alone and in turn never truly get to know themselves. I know introverts that tell themselves they can’t do something because the action it requires is one an extrovert would do.
Yet if both those people dropped the labels. Instead if they just were themselves without a label looming over them that obstacle would not be there.
You do not have to worry about every action or choice being the right one. You can always know you are doing the right thing.
Everything you do can be the right thing
A decision I made is that I always have my own back. No matter what I do or the choices I make I will not beat myself up or think I chose wrong. I will stand by my decisions and support myself through them. I don’t make excuses or have a story behind my choice. Any choice I make is because it was the best one for me in that moment.
That doesn’t mean I have to keep making or doing that same thing forever. In this moment a different choice may be what is best.
The point is that you always have the option of being right. You just decide that what you are doing is the right thing. Because the only difference between it being the right thing or the wrong thing is the way you think about it.
Don’t waver on your support for yourself. This all starts with what you believe is true about you.
Belief in you
How do you describe yourself? What do you say about yourself when it comes to making decisions and doing the right thing?
When you use statements like I have a hard time making a decision or I’m never sure if I’m doing the right thing you are creating more of just that. I know you may feel that is the truth and it is 100% factual but I promise it isn’t.
I know that it isn’t the truth because those are just thoughts. I can have a completely different thought about you. I could look at your life and the decisions you make and think you are a fast decision maker that is always choosing to do the right thing. It doesn’t make either of us right.
But choosing to think you are bad at choosing what the right thing is will never be useful.
Dig deeper and find why you think that about yourself. Then find ways that it has been true that you are bad at making decisions or that you never do the right thing. Now prove it wrong. How was that the perfect thing for you in that moment? What choices have you made that were the right ones?
You have made good choices. The right choices that have you doing the right things.
When you have a hard time believing that start small –
You decided to go to work.
You decided to pay your taxes.
You decided to love your partner.
You decided to wash the dishes and do the laundry.
You decided to take a shower.
You decided to pet your dog.
Those are all you doing the right thing. The next time you make the choice to do them make a mental note of the way you feel and the thoughts you are having.
Final Notes –
Of course, you know what to do right now and of course it will be the right thing.
You always know what is best for you in this moment. Confusion and uncertainty are not useful. Don’t spend time with them or worry. You are the best person to choose what is right for you in your life. You can decide right now in this moment what that is.
I believe in you and in your power to always make the right decision.
