Self-care has become a buzz word in today’s society.
It comes accompanied with pictures of bubble baths, manis and pedis, face masks, etc.
While those things have a place in our life that is not truly what self-care is all about.
When we imagine self-care in this way, we are equating it with pleasure.
But this is the confusion. Self-care is not feeling good always.
True self-care is when we take care of our entire being even when its not the most comfortable choice.
It is taking a closer look at how we are living our lives and if it is truly serving us.
Companies sell you band aids
You know those chocolate commercials that show how you can have the ultimate blissful moment by enjoying a piece of their chocolate. There’s a woman shown in a stressful environment and it all melts away when she bites into it.
The serenity and peace they portray might help for that moment but that stress is going to come back.
That’s because indulging in quick fixes like chocolate doesn’t address the true cause.
You’re putting a band aid on a wound.
A bubble bath may help calm you for a moment but the anxiety will come creeping back in.
Listen, I’ve been there. I have spent entire days indulging in the self-care that society pushes on us.
I would eat ice cream, get my nails done, take a bubble bath, and watch Gilmore Girls for hours. And it would feel good for a while.
Then I would be back to feeling anxious and stressed.
I was using those things as a way to escape my feelings.
The problem with that is they will always come back especially if you are resisting them.
What I want to show you is that you can address your thoughts and feelings in a way that you won’t need to escape them.
You don’t need a new morning routine
Routines are great and putting one together isn’t negative.
But, self-care isn’t about routines either.
We can become so reliant on a routine that we don’t know what to do when we aren’t able to keep it.
What you can do instead is commit.
Commit to exercising.
Commit to eating what you said you would.
Commit to working on your goal.
Commitment means figuring out how to do it when there are obstacles.
Instead of forcing a routine work on committing to what you want to do.
Pleasure isn’t Bad
I’ve told you that self-care isn’t bubble baths, chocolates, or manis and pedis.
That doesn’t mean there isn’t a place for them in your life. It means that you do them knowing that they aren’t going to fix anything.
Choose to do these things from a clean place not to avoid feelings or escape from your life.
When considering what and when you are doing something ask yourself how it will impact what you are working towards?
Pleasure to escape negative feelings is what you want to avoid.
Negative feelings are a part of life. To truly support yourself you must allow the negative feelings and process them.
Resource – How Your Thoughts Create Your Feelings
So, what is Self-Care?
Self-care is all about how you are treating yourself. It’s doing the hard things to live the fullest life you can.
Experience discomfort is part of self-care. Sometimes doing what is best for you isn’t what makes you feel the best at that time. You are looking for the whole impact it could have.
You may want the cake now but your long-term health goals are important to you. Experiencing the discomfort now of not having the cake will allow you to reach your goals.
Decisions from a clean place
Make decisions that support your long-term goals for life not the ones that will feel good for a moment but have a negative effect on your desired outcome. Say yes to things that fit in your intentional life and say no to things that don’t.
Resource – How to Live Intentionally
Monitor your mind
Become aware of the thoughts you have and how those are impacting the actions you take which lead to the results that are your life.
When we do this type of work it is important to remember to be kind to ourselves. This is the time to be your own best friend.
What you have done in the past was what made sense to you at that moment. You can support yourself making that choice and wanting to choose differently in the future.
How you talk to you
Take a moment to ask what you think of yourself. Write down anything that comes to mind.
Is the page filled with positive or negative statements? Are you being hard on yourself?
I know that at the beginning of my journey it was certainly more negative than positive and I am still doing this work today.
This is when its time to give attention to self-love and confidence.
The goal of this work is to love all parts of you. Even the messy part.
Pay attention to what you say about you.
Drop Should
Get really clear on what you want in your life.
Remove should from the way you look at things.
Be really honest with yourself on what your ideal life would look like and if what you are doing is going to take you there.
Have your own back
Don’t discount what you are doing. Be there for you when everything is going great and when you miss the mark.
There is no downside to being supportive.
Claim your life
Take control of your life by knowing that you are 100% responsibility for what you have created.
You have the control over what you think and the results that you create. That is amazing because it means you have the option to create anything you want.
Nurture your Relationships
What is your relationship with –
- Yourself
- Money
- Your body
- Food
- Your partner
- Friends
- Family
See what you have been neglecting or want to change.
Ways to kick start your self-care
Prove your negativity wrong
When negative thoughts start to pop in your head about yourself prove it wrong. Combat it with the positive reasons that it can’t be true. This will increase the compassion and positive thoughts you have towards yourself.
A want List
Make a list of 100 things that you want that you already have. Often times when we think of our life we think of the things it is lacking that we haven’t achieved yet. Focus on what you already have in your life that you’ve wanted.
Input Positivity
There is an impact on your life based off of what you consume.
Review what you are –
-Reading
-Watching
– Listening to
– Seeing
Your brain will focus on what you give it. If, you are taking in more negativity than anything else then that is what your brain will continue to bring up for you.
Choose based off of love
Pause when making decisions. Are you making this decision based off of what would feel good in this moment or what will create the best outcome for your future self? True love is making a decision from love sometimes means denying the instant pleasure and experiencing a bit of discomfort.
Hire a life coach
Hiring a life coach is the best investment into self-care you can make.
Life coaches help you see your mind and how to transition into living a life better than you could ever imagine.
I am honored to do this work with my clients. Schedule your free consult to see how I can help you.
Final Note
Self-care is taking care of the inward parts of you.
Your thoughts and your feelings are going to create your life. Spending time tending to those and investing in your future self will build you an amazing life.
Choose today what your best self would.
