What is self-discipline?
The internet gave me two definitions for self-discipline and I want to share both of them with you.
- The ability to control one’s feelings to overcome weaknesses
- The ability to pursue what one thinks is right despite the temptation to abandon it.
I think these are both so powerful. Notice that both of the definitions talk about the ability. I relate abilities to skills. You can learn them and grow them no matter what you have in this moment.
Self-discipline isn’t about forcing or being miserable while you are doing something. It is controlling your thoughts and feelings to get what you truly want instead of what would be convenient right now.
We hear self-discipline used the most when talking about going to the gym or eating food. But it can also be for starting a business, reading instead of watching TV, or doing the dishes and cleaning the house.
It isn’t only reserved for large goals. You can use your self-discipline ability in your everyday life.
Why Self-Discipline Matters
What you do today will impact where you are 6 months from now. Showing up consistently and the way you need to is how you will achieve your goals. If, you give into your temptations then you are delaying your success.
Self-discipline allows you to tap into your higher self and let them guide your life. Your ideal life doesn’t just happen by accident. It isn’t easy but it is possible.
Indulgence
Do what feels good. Do what makes you happy.
I don’t like this advice. This will give you moments of happiness and joy.
Pockets of time where you feel good but in the long run you will blink and not have reached your goals. Instead do what will feel good in 6 months and do what will give you what you have always wanted in your life.
Netflix verse the gym. If, you have been struggling with going to the gym consistently then in the moment what will feel good is staying home and watching Netflix and what will make you happy is having a snack while you’re watching the Netflix.
This will be a pocket of the good right now but it will be fleeting. After you’re done you’ll experience the guilt of not getting to the gym. Instead of building up the consistency of going to the gym you’re teaching yourself not going to they gym.
Moments of discomfort are worth the growth you will achieve.
Show up with Compassion & Curiosity
Now if you give into temptation and indulge in the few moments of the good to the detriment of the long-term goals you haven’t done anything wrong. Our brains are wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Your brain thinks Netflix is the safer choice over the gym until you teach it otherwise.
You can’t come from a place of lack to improve. Show yourself kindness and compassion if you are working through this. Beating yourself up adds to the suffering and isn’t necessary.
When you find yourself judging yourself shift into curiosity. Ask why you did that from a place of truly just figuring it out. Not in an anguished WHY did I do THAT?! Those are two very different questions energetically.
So we have talked a lot about what self-discipline is and why it matters in your life and I’m sure you are now wondering the HOW. I’ve got it below for you! 😊
How to increase self-Discipline
- Awareness
In order to grow or change you need to be aware.
We gain awareness by looking at your thoughts and how we are creating the results we have. Knowing that you want to gain self-discipline is a great place to start.
In the moments that you are considering your options – taking action or giving in to what would feel good – notice what thoughts you are having. Are they true and do they serve you?
Thoughts are always optional. If, they aren’t true and they don’t serve you then you can get rid of them.
- Set your priorities
Priorities are what you should be spending your time on.
Figure out what is most important in your life. I even encourage you to rank them. Ranking a priority allows you in a moment to decide from a clean place what you want to give your energy to.
Your number one priority should get your main focus.
When you are starting a business that becomes your number one focus. You choose that over working out. It doesn’t have to be forever but it will be for a season. What does this season of your life need you to set as a priority?
- Plan or Schedule
Nothing happens by chance. Plan out what you need to do and then schedule it on your calendar.
You will know exactly when you need to take action. Don’t just say you want to go to the gym three times a week. Pick those three days, pick the time, and put it on your calendar. Then schedule the drive to the gym and the packing your gym bag and the getting dressed and putting on your shoes. Every step gets a place on your schedule.
- Identify the temptations
Knowing what temptations or obstacles that could come up allows you to prepare for them.
If, you plan to go to the gym at 5am you are going to be tempted to hit your snooze button. What thoughts do you need to keep your commitment?
When you first set a goal you have a lot of excitement and motivation for it. There are going to be moments that you don’t want to do it and you aren’t going to have the motivation. In those moments what are the things that will tempt you to not take action. Those are the temptations you need to be aware of.
- Follow Through
Consistency is the best way to build a skill. But this means you need to meet yourself where you are.
Don’t set yourself up for failure. If, going to the gym three times a week is too much and you aren’t there yet start with once for 30 minutes. Then increase to once a week for one hour. Then go twice a week for 30 minutes. Then twice a week for an hour. Increase at a rate that feels manageable and you are able to do.
When you try to force the actions without taking care of your mind in the process you haven’t fixed the true cause. Action can only take you so far. Managing your thoughts is a guaranteed way to achieve your goals.
Final Thoughts –
Self-discipline can be something you learn and strengthen over time. It is a skill once learned you can apply over and over again in your life.
Remember to meet yourself where you are and treat yourself with kindness and compassion. When you have obstacles or go against your plan get curious and find the root cause. Uncover the thought that drove that action.
